After throwing everything into my cart at Target, I thought of the boys. I imagined them sleeping on the sofa, snoring away, probably sounding like they were carrying a jolly tune in synchronization. This idea warmed my heart, so I went back to the dog aisle to select the perfect gift for them. It was certain to not have stuffing inside, as Ozzy tends to rip it out within the first five minutes of playing with the toy. The toy could also not contain a squeaker, as Ozzy would also rip it out within the first three minutes. So there it was, finally, a rubber bone. It was beautiful. Soft spikes and nubs that would massage their teeth and gums as they chewed. In the shape of a bone, something both recognize immediately. Lastly, it was the perfect size - just big enough that Higgins wouldn't be able to sneak it through the doggie door to take it outside and cover it in mud.
Proud of my new bullet proof treat for my little Monsters, I headed on to the checkout. Next to King Soopers, and then home to present my favorite find of the evening - The Bone! As I'm carrying my 90 pound bags up the front steps (our back gate is broken at the moment) I peak inside to see the boys, but they were no where to be found. That was rare, as they always met me at the door. Knocking, to get their attention - I saw it. There it was, plain as day, in the middle of the floor. FEATHERS! Yes, feathers! You're probably thinking, why feathers? I'll tell you why. No, we don't have birds in the house - we have pillows.
I would estimate that we have approximately 20 throw pillows on various sofas, chairs, etc. throughout the house and they are all stuffed with feathers. Why feathers, do you ask? Because, we used to have pillows stuffed with cotton and they ate those too. These feather pillows have resided on the sofa for the past six months or so. They were the perfect shade of beige, beautiful embroidery, 100% silk, and my favorite part, they had zippers so I could wash the sham with
ease. Oh, how I loved these pillows. I really thought they were going to make it. The boys had not tried anything with these pillows - no tug-o-war, no nibbling on the corners, not even unzipping the zipper (yes, Ozzy can use a zipper) to peek inside - NOTHING... until last night. These feathers were everywhere! In the kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, upstairs - EVERYWHERE! So needless to say, they were sent to bed with no dinner and no bone. They didn't even give me a chance to present them with their new treat, because they couldn't be good long enough to deserve it!
If you are thinking this is just a fluke thing and that it's no big deal for a dog to destroy a pillow here and there, let me enlighten you. So far we have had the following destroyed:
- 4 Dog Kennel Bed Pillows,
- 6 Stair Treads
- 5 Linear Feet of Baseboard
- 11 Throw Pillows
- 17 Chew Toys
- 2 Rugs
- 5 Live Plants
- 4 Throw Blankets
- 1 Purse
- 1 $600 Area Rug
- 3 Sofa Cushions
- 1 Chaise Lounge
- 30 Lbs. of Paper
- 2 Curtain Panels
- 1 Skirt
- 1 Sofa Slip Cover
- 3 Bed Comforters
- And much, much more...
I don't know about you, but I think my dogs have the Devil on Speed dial... they invite him over for a party when I'm away, just to see how much they can destroy. "Hey Devil, the Provider's gone. Wanna come over and chew on some pillows?". Maybe I should check into trading these two off, for a feeble Golden Retriever with no teeth? Just a thought...
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